4 February 2000

 
This past Monday I came into work only to find more evidence of the lack of respect management has for workers.  Posted on the window of our dispatch door were two pieces of paper each containing the name of one of my colleagues and the reason they had given for calling in sick.  I figured this to be a futile attempt to thwart workers from calling in sick, the idea being that if you know your illness is going to be posted you might be less likely to stay home.  It seemed to me to be a prime opportunity to make up very personal reasons, possibly even offensive.  For instance, I could call in explaining that my sex change operation had some complications and my doctor decided I should stay home.  Or, I could say that my penis enlargement procedure was a little too successful and that my uniform no longer fit--any chance that codpieces might come back into vogue?

We, my fellow a.m. airport crew cronies and I, decided someone had decided to play parent.  After I had said a few things to one of my colleagues, The Stock Market Inmate, he replied, "Not to mention the privacy issues."  I decided to confront my a.m. supervisor.
 

"So," I said, "What's the deal with these sick calls being posted?"

"The p.m. supervisors need to know who is out so they can plan for the afternoon."

"I can sympathize with that, but why don't they just put that information on their desk?"

"It's just convenient for them to have it posted . . ."

"Yes," I interjected, "but I think you have some privacy issues here."  Things changed dramatically after I said that.

"I mentioned that to them," she said.  "Not everyone needs to know why people are sick.  I'll talk to them about it."

"Thanks."

The sick posters were gone by the afternoon and I haven't seen them since.  Ahh, the power of the right words--it's a stunning thing to observe.

I also had a rather strange incident on Wednesday.  I was waiting for an elevator with a UPS guy and as I finished my paper and computer work for the delivery I let a sigh.

The UPS guy says to me, "Geeez, it's only one package."

He was right so I said, "Thank God I don't work for UPS."

"Oh, here we go."  As we walked on to the elevator I heard him mutter "weirdoes" under his breath, so I looked at him and he at me.

Finally I said, "So, do you like your job?"

He gave me an incredulous look and said almost angrily, "Do I like my job?  I guess after 18 years I don't have much choice, do I?  Do I like my job?"

"I know what you mean," I said, "I've been doing this for almost 14 years."

As we walked out of the elevator he said loudly and sarcastically, "Oh, I love my job."

I don't like my job either.  There are things that make it tolerable(part-time, the day goes by fast, I can listen to books on cassette tapes), but if I was independently wealthy I would not be driving a van making deliveries.  When I first came to work here I wanted a part-time job so I would have a lot of time to read and write.  I never expected to be here this long--but the job has allowed me that time and now I make a decent wage and have more financial responsibilities, so there is this sense in which I'm trapped.  It's not a wholly bad trap because of the above mentioned things, but neither is it a perfect one.  If I worked at UPS I know my attitude would be much different.  They work longer hours than I do and the bureaucratic machine they are a part of makes mine almost look good.  It would depress the hell into me to be working 10 to 12 hours a day, to come home exhausted without the energy or the motivation to teach and learn with my son, to read and write and engage in some of my other interests such as this web site.  In that sense I have a great job.

17 January 2000

 
I returned to work after a week-and-a-half vacation to find the following letter in my box:
 

To: The Inmate
From: Barbara Henson
Date: January 6, 2000
Re: Ten-Year Anniversary Gift

I spoke to Debbie Reynolds, Manager of Corporate Communications and Employee Services, regarding your request to choose a gift from the current catalog of anniversary gifts.  Debbie told me that you can order a Ten-Year Anniversary Gift from the current catalog of available gifts.  A catalog will be sent to you in the near future.  When you receive the catalog you will need to send in your order form and the gift will be sent to your manager.

Best Regards,

Barbara
 

So my gut feeling was correct and it was an extremely easy process.  I was not expecting the latter, but I am glad to see there is some humanity left in our corporate offices.

On another note, a more common melody has once again been played.  Our station manager, who only months ago assured me personally and in a meeting that he had no intention of leaving our station is--guess what?--leaving.  In his words, it was something he "needed to do."  Fine, fine, fine, whatever.  He lied.  It may seem harsh to say, but he did.  For the most part, I liked this manager and I'm partly upset because I believed him.  He had me convinced that he really wanted to stay here for the long term.  In my thirteen years at Cheetah Express we have had five station managers.  It will be interesting to see who his replacement is.

Partly, I also feel like he is really getting sucked into corporate culture.  He left our station a few years ago(he was a supervisor then) and really wanted to come back because he regretted his decision, but was not allowed to until he finally got the manager's position(anyway, this is what I've heard)--something he said he really wanted and something he said he wanted long term.  But now he's off again.  He said it was talking to a number of people that had convinced him to make the move.  I have not talked to him personally about it so I don't have any details--but there is large part of me that wants to say to him(I'll never see him again, so why not?)--"Don't get sucked in.  Guard yourself--guard your soul, my friend."  Does that sound melodramatic?  Is that too much?  I don't know.  It's what I think--I don't pretend to know his situation in an intimate way but it reminds of me of a George Orwell quote:
 

There's a lot of rot talked about the sufferings of the working class.  I'm not so sorry for the proles myself. . . . The prole suffers physically, but he's a free man when he isn't working.  But in every one of those little stucco boxes there's some poor bastard who's never free except when he's fast asleep.

I guess I wonder if he's free even then.

By the way, no word yet about my request to get paid vacation days for the days I was out sick.  My check, however, was considerably smaller than usual--maybe that was the final word.

 
work cited:

George Orwell as quoted in  Class, by Paul Fussell, Ballantine Books, New York, 1991, pg. 37.
 

15 January 2000

 
No responses, yet, to any of the letters I have written.  Big surprise?  No.  I take that back.  I did get an auto response from one of my emails informing me that the recipient was on vacation and wouldn't be back until January 7.

3 January 2000

 
Welcome to 2000.  Concerning my preceding entry(14 December 1999) here is the letter I sent in my attempt to receive a 10 year anniversary gift almost four years later.
 

I am writing to you because my station manager suggested I do so.  A little over three-and-a-half years ago I had my ten-year anniversary with Cheetah Express.  I did not, however, choose to take any of the gifts that were offered me because none of them that were offered at that time interested me(This also occurred with my five-year safe driving award).  I wrote a letter on 28 December 1995(which is enclosed) asking if I might be able to receive something that I would desire.  To make a rather long, bureaucratic story short, this was not done.  Please, tears are not necessary.

Recently, I was talking to a colleague of mine who is having her ten-year anniversary and I asked about the awards catalog.  She showed it to me and, low and behold, it no longer simply contains jewelry items--it actually has some things that I would like.  When my request was refused those many years ago I suggested through Drive to Deliver that this be done.  I never heard back--but as it now has been done you have probably guessed my request.

Since I never took anything for my ten-year anniversary I would like to, these many years later, be given the opportunity to do so now.  Do you have the power and/or the will to accommodate this request?  I would greatly appreciate it if this could be done.

My vacation begins the 5th and I will not return to work until January 17, 2000, but you can email me at the above email address if you need any more information or with your/someone else's decision.

Thanks for your time,
 

I think my self-restraint in this matter is worthy of a nice thank you letter from somebody.  However, the following letter, concerning my attempt to use vacation time for the days I was out sick(I'm out of sick time and need the money) though restrained for me, still oozes with some sarcasm.  I am capable of restraining that part of myself completely--but after thirteen years facing similar problems, I just don't want to.  This letter was sent via email to our Human Resources Representative.

 
I am the individual my supervisor contacted you about regarding my substituting vacation days for sick days.  Probably she made the following known to you but I want to make sure that you have all the facts concerning this request.

First, I am not asking that the days I was sick not be considered sick days as far as discipline is concerned.  I am quite happy to accept my written warning even if these days are paid as vacation days.

Secondly, I am out of sick time--that is why I want to take the vacation days--I need the money.  My wife and I have had a lot of medical bills this year(some of my sick time this year was because of my wife's illness) and I would prefer to get paid than save my vacation days--only because this is a necessity--under any other circumstances, believe me, I would be quite happy to spend another three days away from work.

Allowing me to take vacation days accomplishes three good things:

1)Cheetah Express still gets to discipline a wayward soul like myself(too bad those viruses aren't aware of corporate policy) with a written warning and all the paperwork and signatures that go along with it.

2)Cheetah Express benefits financially because I will not be taking those three vacation days later in the year thus saving the beloved company about 300 dollars.

3)As a Cheetah Express employee I will also benefit financially at a time when money is needed--thus lifting my morale and my view of Cheetah Express as a corporation.

The conclusion, it seems to me, is obvious.  This affects everyone's bottom line in a positive way.

If all this was considered, or if I have missed something that I am unaware of, I would appreciate it if you would explain it to me.

Thanks for your time and I am extremely interested in hearing from you,

14 December 1999
 

Before I begin I must digress--it's a long digression, but it will all make sense at the end.  A little over 4 years ago I received a watch for five years of safe driving which I promptly returned to our corporate headquarters with the following letter:
 

July 4, 1995

I am returning the enclosed watch.  This is not because I do not appreciate the recognition for my five years of safe driving.  I do.  The reality of the situation is this: I would never wear it.  I don't even own a suit and my entire wardrobe, save two sport coats(one of which my father wore when he married my mother nearly 40 years ago), is machine-washable.  I thought about just keeping it to avoid the risk of insulting a corporate giant, especially one that is responsible for allowing me to pay my bills and still go home at one o'clock, but utilitarian ideals have made this impossible.  A watch should be used; it should be worn; it should give people anxiety trying to be "on time."  Please, give it to someone who will enjoy it.

Of course, I will admit, my motives, though not completely, are partly mercenary.  I would like something  that I would  use.  Money would be the most preferable as it would allow me to buy what I wanted(at the moment I'm thinking books), but with nine years at Cheetah Express I realize what the likelihood of that is.  Secondly, a distant second, would be Drive to Deliver points.  The more, the better.  Not as much choice, but at least some.  Thirdly, would be a different watch.  I prefer to wear black, digital, water-submergible, stop-watch types able to withstand blows from sledgehammers and any other such daily courier encounters with consignees.  Lastly, if none of this is possible, if corporate procedures have eliminated the freedom to be spontaneous, to make real decisions or you just decide that my suggestions are ludicrous, then keep the watch with my blessing.  I can revel in the knowledge that I saved Cheetah Express whatever money it would have cost to obtain this watch for another courier who drives five years safely.  Invested shrewdly, who knows what those savings might become?  I would, however, revel harder and longer if I received a check.

I look forward to hearing from you.

I did hear from them and here it is:
 

July 20, 1995

I am writing in response to your letter . . . of July 4, 1995.

We appreciate the return of the watch and will issue it to another driver.  Would you perhaps like to get a ladies watch?  The Cheetah Express charm is easily removed and they make an[sic] excellent gifts for loved ones.  Please contact me if you would like us to send you one.

Your comments regarding the watch style have been noted.  Although we are unable to shop for a watch specifically for you, we are looking at some alternative styles.  The[sic] is no guarantee that we will add another watch style to the program however if we do you may contact me and I will be happy to send you one in the future.

Congratulations on your five years of safe driving.
 

I never received anything for my safe driving accomplishments save the obligatory letter.  A few months after this I received gift information on my upcoming 10 year anniversary with my beloved employer.  There were no awards being offered that I wanted so I sent the following letter to our corporate headquarters.
 

28  December 1995

Recently I received award information concerning my upcoming ten year anniversary with Cheetah Express.  Has it been that long?  I am glad for the opportunities I have had by working part-time at Cheetah Express.  I never expected to be here this long, but it has been a very tolerable job because of the people I work with, the good benefits and decent pay.

A few months back I received a watch for five years of safe driving.  I returned it to Cheetah Express with my attempt at light-heartedness(a letter which I've enclosed) because I knew I would not use it.  I prefer digital, waterproof, multi-function watches.  I would have liked to receive something, but that was not done for reasons I was not made aware of.

With my ten year anniversary I am faced with the same problem.  None of what is being made available to me is of interest to me.  It is not that I do not appreciate the gesture.  I do.  Nor is it that I think these are not good gifts.  For people who like these kinds of things they are fine, though, if it was me, I would prefer them without the Cheetah Express charm.  I just have too many things of this nature that sit in my top drawer looking sad and hopeful.

Therefore, I will not be ordering anything for my anniversary.  As in the former case this does not mean that I would not like something.  Money, of course, would be my first choice, Drive to Deliver points the second.  Huge sums would be preferable.  Extra vacation time would be nice.  Gift certificates are fun, stocks and bonds quite pleasurable.  Real estate always makes me smile.  Okay, I am getting a little carried away here.

Again, thank you for the gesture.  I would, however, like to suggest that in the future Cheetah Express consider gifts with a wider range of interest.  I am not advocating the elimination of these awards, but something in addition to them, preferably of a monetary nature.  I think, though I might be wrong, that if surveyed the vast amount of employees would prefer awards of money above plaques, watches, rings, pins and the like.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

I eventually, after my request was shuffled on to someone else, received  the following reply from Human Resources(Note that this comes four-and-a-half months after my initial letter and, somewhat ironically, I guess, five days after my 10 year anniversary):
 

May 10, 1996

We are sorry that we cannot accommodate your request to give Drive to Deliver points in place of your ten year service award.

We are always interested in employee ideas and suggestions that bring about improvements.  In the future, you may want to consider submitting your ideas through the Drive To Deliver Employee Suggestion Program.  Suggestions that are accepted and implemented are awarded Drive to Deliver points.

After that enlightening reply I sent the following:
 

May 19, 1996

Thank you for your response regarding my request for Drive to Deliver points in place of my ten year service award.  You wrote, "We are sorry we cannot accommodate your request . . ."  I am curious as to why   you cannot.

It is unfortunate that Cheetah Express, and I use the term "Cheetah Express" and not "you" because I assume you are under guidelines you do not have the authority to change or make an exception to, is unable or unwilling to oblige such a simple request.  It is a basic one: an individual whose particular tastes cannot be met asks for a comparable replacement from an already implemented program.  What's the big deal?

Cheetah Express's 1996 Corporate Goals lists number 8 as "Reduce bureaucracy."  This is a fine goal, but if Cheetah Express's bureaucratic machine has this much trouble with something this small, I am skeptical of any change occurring in more important areas that need even more drastic bureaucratic reductions.

I am a ten year employee.  I have received for those ten years superior ratings in each and every year due to my dependability, consistency, rapport with colleagues and management, my attitude and my performance.  I have often written letters(long before Drive to Deliver) to Cheetah Express, on my own time, to voice my suggestions, likes, concerns and criticisms.

I'm surprised someone with the authority(someone somewhere must have it) does not fulfill this request just to shut me up and, more seriously, reward an employee of my caliber for ten years of, not just service, but superior service.

Thank you for your suggestion to submit ideas to Drive to Deliver.  I submitted this idea to my supervisor on April 12, 1996 and have yet to hear the verdict.  I have enclosed a copy for you.

I received no reply to this letter, I did however, have another conversation with someone from Human Resources a month or two later, in fact, this woman rode with me on my entire route mainly to talk about this very thing.  I find it so interesting that she would take the time to ride with me, time which she is well-paid for, to tell me why they could not give me a different award.  Hell, they could have just given me the money they paid her to talk to me.  It was a strange ride-along.  One of the first things she said to me when she got in the van was, "Well, you must just really love driving."  She was a nice person and someone that in many ways I liked, but what kind of a statement is that?  Maybe, I'm being to hard on her--I mean, I do drive for a living--but it's a necessity, not a passion.  She made a wrong assumption, so I said to her, "No.  I don't particularly like driving.  I have this job because it allows me to pursue some things I would not ordinarily be able to pursue with a full-time position."  We discussed all the information contained in the preceding letters and at the end of the day she said another strange thing to me:  "I'm glad you understand and see why we cannot accommodate your request."  This was strange because during the whole time I talked with her I made it very clear this made no sense to me.  I said, "I understand your reasoning, but I do not agree with it.  Decisions like this lack common sense."  A few days later I received the following letter from her:
 

July 29, 1996

Re: Employee Suggestion

Just as a follow-up to our conversation on July 26th, your employee suggestion regarding a request to convert your Service Award gift to Drive to Deliver points has been researched.

As expressed to you, the Drive to Deliver program and the Service Award program are two separately funded programs and are utilized for different purposes.  The Drive to Deliver program rewards those employees for outstanding performance and the Service Award program is designed to reward employees for length of service with Cheetah Express.

Your suggestions are appreciated and your idea was taken into full consideration.  The programs are not designed or structured to accommodate your request at this time.  Please feel free to continue to submit any other thoughts or ideas you may have on how to improve or enhance the current Drive to Deliver program.

Thank you for your involvement and expressing your opinions!

I love that exclamation mark.  What exactly was she trying to convey to me?  I suppose she wanted me to feel impressed that she took so much time to talk to and write me about this, but it just made me more cynical.  She gets paid to do this?  After talking to me for three hours--and much of it was just talk about life in general--she also sits down to write me this letter to explain what I already knew?  They pay her to do things like this and they cannot replace my award with something I would enjoy?  Hello!

What usually happens when these awards are passed out is that management says something nice about the employee, everyone has a good laugh or two at the recipient's expense and the employee receives the award.  It's a nice little tradition.  In my case, either because they forgot or because I refused the award, nothing was ever said on the date of my 10 year anniversary or anytime thereafter.  I hate admitting it, but it kind of bothered me.  I asked myself, "Why?"  If I look at it logically I don't think it should bother me.  What is it?  Just five minutes of recognition from my fellow employees--but I guess that is something.  We all want some kind of recognition and ten years is a long time and a long time to be good at what you do even if the job itself is not that difficult--and this job, admittedly, is not.  The difficulty in jobs like the one I have(and I really don't include myself in this because I only work part-time, many of my colleagues work 40, 50 and 60 hour weeks) is not so much the job itself, but just the daily grind in a job that does not offer much emotional or mental payback.  There is a kind of mental fortitude and discipline necessary to continue day after day and year after year in these situations--and millions of workers do--performing millions of necessary jobs for modern civilization.  The tragedy, I believe, is that some people are undone by this.  The nobleness is that some are not.

Anyway, as I said, this was all leading up to something.  The other day a colleague of mine mentioned that she received the award catalog for her ten year anniversary.  I asked what was in it and, low and behold, it does not just contain jewelry items.  It now has electronics, luggage, tools, etc.  It actually has some things I would like.  So guess what I'm going to do?  I'm going to see if they will let me take my ten-year award now . . . three-and-a-half years later.  My wife thinks it will not happen.  For some reason I think it will--I have no earthly reason to believe this taking history into account, but I just think they will.  I plan to send them a couple of the preceding letters with a new one which I'll post after I write it.

Any of you that would like to guess on the outcome of this momentous bit of blind faith on my part please email with your thoughts(Return to 3 January 2000).
 
 

©2000 The Corporate Asylum

 

http://www.corporateasylum.com/journalarchives3.html
Copyright 1999-2004 The Corporate Asylum all rights reserved
Web Design by Sweet Thursday Web Development(Contact Me) / Last Revised August 1, 2004