Dear potential contributor,
The Corporate Asylum is looking for writers. This is a web site about work. I am looking for poetry, fiction and essays about that subject. I also want movie reviews, book reviews, web reviews and television reviews that pertain to work. I am looking for original material that contains satire, bite, humor and depth. Submissions should contain at least one of these. Personal stories are fine. Other people's stories are also fine. I love quotes from other sources, but this is not necessary. No novels. I am also looking for different perspectives--maybe you are a CEO or an Upper-manager who disagrees with something on this site. Enter the debate if you wish. Feel free to query me with your ideas.
I am also looking for stupid company memos or absurd correspondence from higher-ups or lower-downs. The name of your company will not be disclosed.
Cartoons, I am also looking for cartoons--original cartoons. Please submit via email in JPEG or GIF format.
I am also looking for things that I may not know that I want.
Let me be frank: I don't get paid to do this; you won't get paid to do this. If and when I begin making millions of dollars conquering the World Wide Web contributors may receive a small, small, minute fraction of my immense profits, but until then please, please, keep your day job.
Nor is this your chance for a big break. If published, you will likely be read by three or four people who will be so distracted while reading what you have taken hours and hours to write that they will not remember a word of it only seconds after they finish it. Remember that no publisher will be impressed that your essay or poem or story or whatever appeared on this web site. It is doubtful that any of your friends will be impressed. Your mother might be, but that, too, is doubtful.
Just because you send The Corporate Asylum something does not mean that it will appear on this web site. I may reject your hard work for any number of reasons that I will most likely not disclose. If I decide not to use what you've sent me I will notify you via email. If you print it out you could feasibly call it a rejection slip and thus feel connected to all your fellow writers who have also received those infamous pieces of paper. If rejection scares you(It shouldn't--I, The Inmate, have dozens of rejection slips stored away in a deep pit ready to send back to those senile editors after I become world famous) remember that most of the greatest writers and thinkers of the world were often rejected by publishers, editors and critics. Your writing may be so great that I will be incapable of recognizing its greatness. On the other hand . . .
I look forward to hearing from you.
The Inmate
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